Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
