My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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