I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
