The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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