Your tits are I can't wait for
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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