I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
