HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
