I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
