I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
