I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
