He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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