He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
