just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
