I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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