Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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