just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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