Plan B is the new Plan A
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
