Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
