still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
