Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
