You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
