Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
