This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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