I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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