He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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