So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
