Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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