you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
