The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
