Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
love makes seman taste better
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
