I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
