I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
