I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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