Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
