why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Randomize