But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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