just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
