This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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