Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
