im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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