I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
