We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
