i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
