Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Barsexuality is the new black.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
