walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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