i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
