His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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