And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
