I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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