last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
