it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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