We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
